Panic Attack

I have been reading the different blogs and following peoples journeys their surrogacy and I was thinking about what brings people to that point. Kay and I have been told that without IVF we will likely never conceive. On top of that I have other medical conditions and family history that makes carrying a baby to term difficult and dangerous both for myself and the child. But through all of this I have never even considered that my eggs may not be optimal. Then it hit me, what if on top of everything my eggs are bad, what if I am so "broken" that I can't even contribute that much? What if we spend years trying IVF and only then figure out that my part is the part that doesn't work!? Needless to say I started having a mild panic attack. I didn't think that I could handle another blow. Finding out that we couldn't conceive naturally or with mild assistance was hard, hearing that the adoption wasn't possible was devastating, but I never considered that we could be hit anymore. It took a little while to get myself under control, it would not be good if someone called 911 and the ambulance couldn't come because the attendant was having a panic attack. I had to keep telling myself that we will deal with everything as it comes. That I have no reason to think that our eggs will not be good. After I got control of myself I talked with Kay. He reminded me that all we can do is try, taking everything step by step and that we are in it together. I feel better now.